I’m pretty sure that anyone who’s read Harry Potter and has ever suffered depression can totally understand where JK Rowling was coming from when she wrote about these creatures that swoop down and suck every last drop of happiness from you. That is exactly how I would describe depression, you can feel it, like a big black cloud coming down and surrounding you and you feel like you will never feel happy again.
I’m writing this today as I can feel them hovering way too close, I can feel them surrounding my head and trying to squeeze the happiness out of me. Every now and then there’s a feeling that I may shake them off but it lasts minutes if I’m lucky, they’re here and I’m not sure how to fight them off. That’s the part that I think JK Rowling got wrong, or maybe I just haven’t mastered the art yet. Thinking of the happiest moment in my life and picturing it doesn’t seem to work for me, I’ll keep trying.
I’m trying so hard to keep the Dementors at bay, the black dog is here and it’s following me around like its lost it’s owner, I am not it’s owner, I have a real black dog called Toby and he doesn’t make me feel like that, I don’t need a black dog that does this. Even Toby is trying to help fight this off, he’s trying really hard, he’s not succeeding but, my feet are at least warm right now.
Anyway, anyone else who is having problems with the Dementors or black dog today, you’re not alone.
Today it’s like a big black cloud following me around, it feels as though it’s trying to engulf me, I’m fighting it, it’s not easy. Can’t shake it off, I’m trying.